Often people anxiously believe that (part of) our deepest motives are negative and bad. Especially when it comes to negative behavior. But that is not the case at all! There is a positive intention underneath every behavior. Every behavior serves you in a certain way.
Just because something serves you does not mean that it is immediately positive. Because if you hide, because it allows you to avoid confrontation, that is not immediately positive. It doesn’t feel anything positive! There is still so much around it …
That’s why your DEEPEST positive intention is so important to learn to find. It always feels positive. It even feels wonderful and powerful. Pure and authentic.
I have a simple, very profound exercise for you to discover your deepest positive intention behind any behavior. In about 15-30 minutes you arrive at the bottom of your subconscious: with your deepest positive wishes, desires and needs!
Your judgment about negative behavior will melt like snow in the sun! You can start experiencing your positive intention IMMEDIATELY, instead of taking a huge, unconscious detour. You can start celebrating your positive intentions.
It is best to write this exercise down.
The Splash goes like this:
What is bothering you?
You name a negative situation or negative behavior of yourself. Something you hate, something you resist or something that pinches. Just something negative.
I am asked to feel a positive emotion in my body.
What is your negative belief about the situation or behavior? Example:
(-) I cannot feel any emotions in my body. I think it is not possible or not doing it right. (-)
How does it serve you to have this belief?
(+) It keeps me safe by not being able to just experience something positive. (+)
Repeat questions 3 and 4 until you reach the deepest positive intention. In addition, you usually suddenly feel a great peace, love and serenity.
(-) Positive things are difficult to experience with other people.
(+) Then I don’t have to face the fear of other people’s judgments.
(-) There always comes a time when other people’s judgments of me are condescending, bullying and derogatory.
(+) Then I don’t have to make an effort to show myself. Then I can give up. Then it is justified not to do anything.
(-) When I show myself, a distance is created between me and the other. It means that I am different from the other, and that hurts.
(+) I would like to connect and continue to experience with other people. Something with nothing personal in between.
With that last positive intention there is a sudden peace and a discharge. That is the signal that we have arrived at the deepest intention in this story, a pure desire for connection. Something that hopefully every newborn baby experiences and is granted. Something the pure heart would like to experience in this world.
What does it take to make that heart’s desire come true? Where is the energy or the door with which it is possible to experience connection with other people, without anything personal in between?