What’s underneath limiting beliefs, is not limiting at all…! And when you understand this principle, and really feel that undercurrent in yourself, then you start to feel different about ‘obstacles’ and ‘self-sabotaging’ behavior of yourself.
Limiting beliefs come in many shapes and sizes. “I’m not allowed to speak loudly.” “I have to be polite.” “I hate crowds.” “I want you to always love me.” There are all kinds of ‘musts’: rules, do’s and don’ts.
You will switch to different rules in different situations. At home you can behave different than when you’re on the bus. Yes right??! That in itself is not a bad thing, unless you don’t feel good about it. If you like being very polite as a waiter in a fancy restaurant, that’s fine! If your feelings about your behavior, your thoughts, your emotions and your overall attitude are playful, happy and joyful, then it’s fine.
You will also feel emotionally different in different situations. That’s fine too! It only becomes a problem when you feel ashamed, feel guilty, get very angry, rejected, shocked, paralyzed or powerless.
In short: if something does not feel right for you personally, then you have a belief somewhere that you have an limiting reaction to. You have that limiting reaction, because that belief does not fit with what is really true for you at that moment.
What is ‘feeling good’?
It is important to note that many people associate the feeling of ‘feeling good’ with a particular constant or ideal state, mentally and emotionally. And, when they have experienced something that ‘felt good’, they try to repeat it over and over and find it again. Or they just have a strong preference for being a certain way because it ‘feels good’. Usually it just feels safe and secure.
Some people associate ‘feeling good’ with a kind of inner inviolability. Or with a mental understanding of and overview of life. Some also associate ‘feeling good’ with being able to do everything themselves, with feeling strong or with being sure that they can perform well. Let me just name a few common examples.
The thing is, you can feel good about being excited one moment, very calm and relaxed the next and very decisive at another time. You feel good when you act on the basis of how you really work at that moment. Without the need for any particular outside response, without the need to get a particular outcome, and without the need to ‘do it right’.
Even more important to note that a lot of behavior is an attempt to make us feel better . Much behavior is a coping mechanism. A constant striving for feeling better.
For example: something happens, you become sad and you immediately start to put things into perspective. Or you get angry. Or you sit quietly in a corner and say nothing more. These are, most likely, all attempts to make you feel better . You want to get away from what is there, namely the sadness. What’s wrong with feeling sad?
Just think of a baby. Does he/she feel an opinion about grief? Or not? Do you have an opinion about feeling sad? Yes right? Somewhere you have gained experiences with that, which have produced certain thoughts and emotions about your grief.
You may have the experience of being belittled when you are sad about a ‘little something’. Or maybe you learned to be tough. Or maybe you have the experience that grief just doesn’t help you. When you notice such thoughts about your behavior or your emotions or your thoughts or your fantasies, you will come back to the topic of ‘limiting beliefs’!
Turn to positive beliefs?
You can be practically endlessly trying to detect and disprove all limiting beliefs by turning them into positive thoughts.
Identifying and reversing limiting beliefs is an excellent exercise! It makes you very honest with yourself, you loosen up in all the patterns that now build your personality (fix …?) And you create new thoughts about yourself and the world. It is a very nice and useful thing to do.
I myself have developed a process to penetrate deeper into your limiting beliefs, which I have called ‘The Splash’. Just look at my articles about it: ‘The Splash’ – your deepest positive intention emerging “Free yourself from deep, unconscious patterns.”
You keep asking your own thoughts two questions: “What is my limiting thought about that?” And then: “What is the positive intention for thinking that?” You do that until you feel that you have reached the positive core.
Focus on positive intention
I notice that one part of this ‘work’ is often the most difficult to penetrate: namely the positive thought you had / have to (continue to) accept an obstructing belief as truth.
Ask yourself: What did it get me to believe that
– I was not good enough?
– part of me was not OK?
– I shouldn’t take up that much space?
– shouldn’t make mistakes?
– can’t choose?
– nobody loves me the way I am?
– I shouldn’t be rich?
– I shouldn’t be happy to do …?
To name some examples …
No behavior, action, emotion or thought should be ‘encapsulated’ with a limiting belief. It is just a stream of experiences that you have. You do not need your soul or your higher self or something like that to be this or that or act like this or that. So why did you accept these kinds of rules as (temporary) truth? What is / was the positive intention behind it?
It doesn’t matter which 1001 limiting beliefs you can find in yourself. The positive intentions behind it are not 1001 different intentions. The reason for accepting limiting beliefs can be summarized very briefly. And, if you did ‘The Splash’, and thereby broke through all kinds of layers of obstructing thoughts, you would also find this positive intention at the end:
– We want connection –
We want to experience love. And love can only arise in connection. It is the encompassing of all that we are. By yourself and / or someone else. We want to be understood. Feeling understood only arises in connection. We want to be heard. That too can only happen in conjunction. We want to be seen in all that we are. Only possible in connection. We want to experience peace. Only possible in connection with everything there is … and so on. Ultimately, we want to experience everything from connection.
It is very simple: we have made all kinds of bends by accepting limiting beliefs as truth, in order to experience as much connection and therefore love as possible. Connection is necessary to survive. Connection is a baby’s No. 1 need and it will remain that way throughout our lives. Even though we sometimes prefer not to admit that. Connection is security. Love can only flow in connection. And you can only feel and experience your own essence in self-love, when you are connected to it!
We are of course always 100% connected with each other at the atomic level and at a higher spiritual level. But certainly not always in our 3D experience. Everyone sometimes feels lost, superfluous or a culprit who wants to get away.
You may also wonder if it was love you got growing up, when it wasn’t unconditional. But you did it with what you could get. Because you had and need a connection. You adapted as best you could. That has shaped your life experience and shapes your experiences to this day.
And do you now see how you have decided through that conditional love to also set conditions for your connection with yourself and the world? There they are: limiting beliefs.
Is disconnection possible?
Limiting beliefs are therefore ways to connect in a different way than is desirable for you personally. And you can feel that throughout your body. That doesn’t feel playful, light and joyful. When you do connect with the world in accordance with your essence / soul, then it feels good.
Let’s go one more thought step. Hatred without connection is impossible. Being angry with someone without connection is impossible. Being sad about a loss, without another connection, is impossible. No emotion, thought or opinion is possible without connection. So it is actually not even about a connection / no connection. When something is in your consciousness, there is connection. Just maybe not in a way you prefer. It will not deliver the experience you want.
Our black-and-white thinking, our tendency towards polarization, sometimes wants to sneer at us about this idea: ‘Oh, so you always want it to be your way? Oh, so you always want to feel good? Well, good luck …! ‘
No, it’s not even about always being happy, cheerful and in a good mood. Your soul comes here to experience everything. Everything is allowed. Ultimately, nothing is right or wrong. You are always connected to whatever is in your consciousness.
The point is to recognize that: I want to experience connection in a certain way . And I just said that you are actually always connected to everything …! So what does a person want to experience connection with?
If you’ve always been connected … what do you want to connect with?
I believe that every person wants to experience connection in his / her own way with the flow of joy that permeates everything unconditionally. That joy flows through everyone. And through everyone, that flow requires a different, idiosyncratic, attuned expression in the world.
Being unconditionally connected to everything someone is brings joy. Finding your own way in a world with 1001 possibilities brings joy. Being able to grasp all that someone else is openly brings joy. We want to connect with ourselves, with other people, animals, plants, energies and all things in the world. I want to experience connection with what I am attracted to. In the way I want to experience it.
You have always been connected and at the same time we seek connection with our own personal flow of joy. To really experience that flow, which has always been there in the 3d earthly life.
It’s about recognizing that you want to experience something, that you have the choice to do things in this time-space earth, and that you have the power to experience your way of connecting with life. You can be happy, playful and joyful. You can be grateful and happy.
Clearing up limiting beliefs can certainly help you with that. Knowing and feeling all of this may even make you feel more playful and joyful about whatever you are going through.
An example of how an emotion flow can go in openness and playfulness. Something happens and you get angry. Thought on that: Wow, I’m angry. What an experience! And wow, how uncomfortable it is that I am so angry! What an intense feeling, that discomfort … And then: wow, how shame I feel about my discomfort! Jemdepemig, what a rollercoaster. And then maybe: I should be quite angry in this situation? Anyone in my shoes would be angry, uncomfortable and ashamed about it now. What else do I actually think about this situation that made me so angry about it? Maybe I don’t see what I can do in this? Ah, I can see it! Do I dare? Exciting and yes, I will!
Throughout this flow, the flow of lightness and playfulness remains tangible.
Then there is the question again: what is the positive intention to feel that way? What’s in it for me?
When you are dealing with limiting beliefs, consider how they have sought to help you meet your need for connection.
That softens your view of everything you want and are allowed to clear up from obstructing beliefs. And it validates your real need to experience unconditional connection.
A Completion Process helps you to instantly change the imprint of an entire package of non-authentic and thus obstructive beliefs.
I have seen so many miracles happen before my very eyes …!
• From victim attitude to a proactive attitude …
• From fear of being a bad mother and not having a job, to a successful writer and writing trainer (become her own entrepreneur) …
• From control freak to enjoyer …
• From taking all responsibility … (must have to) to play and engage in new things for fun and satisfaction …
• From guilt and therefore not wanting to see a pleasant future, to feeling good and wanting to move on …
• From never daring to make contact with the real self to having the courage to be real, to give your own opinion.
• From follower of scarce possibilities, to creator of endless possibilities.
And the latter certainly applies to me 🙂
Which turnaround would you like to make? What burden do you want to take off?
Request a free introductory meeting or take a Completion Process right away to make that change.